Jackson opens up about 26 years of manipulation and the moment she chose herself.
For 26 years, Lateefah E. Jackson stood beside her husband in ministry, fulfilling the role of first lady in their church. To the congregation, they appeared to be a devoted couple serving God together. Behind closed doors, however, Jackson endured a reality far different from the image they projected—a reality defined by manipulation, control, and narcissistic abuse cloaked in religious authority.
On December 1, 2021, everything changed. In what she describes as a “speedy exodus” that came after intense years of prayer, fasting, and seeking the face of God, Jackson left …What followed was not just freedom, but an awakening—one so profound it became the title of the book she never planned to write.
Jackson’s story began in Jefferson City, Missouri, where she met her future husband. The relationship led to marriage, six children, and eventually a life in ministry where her husband served as a pastor. From the outside, it seemed like a blessed union. Inside, Jackson was trapped in a carefully constructed web of isolation, intimidation, and control.
“I was in a dark place. I didn’t start realizing who I was married to until the latter years of that union,” Jackson reflects. “I went through that period of isolation, manipulation, and intimidation constricted. The light of the truth was stagnant and difficult to affirm until the very end (when he denounced me in front of our children).”
For over two decades, she endured psychological and emotional abuse disguised as spiritual leadership. Her ex-husband weaponized scripture and religious teachings to maintain control, twisting biblical principles to justify his behavior and keep Jackson confined within the relationship. As both her husband and her pastor, he held dual authority that made questioning him feel like questioning God himself.
The manipulation was so effective that Jackson didn’t fully comprehend the extent of the abuse until after she escaped. “When I got out and looked back and started reflecting, that’s when it hit me like, oh my God. I didn’t realize it was so bad,” she recalls.
Jackson underwent a profound transformation after 26 years of control. She discovered her true identity beyond the one her abuser had imposed on her. Her life flourished, and she eventually remarried, finding a healthy partnership starkly different from her past.
However, Jackson never intended to become an author. The idea for “Awakening” came from an unexpected source: a young woman who heard her story and recognized its power to help others.
“I didn’t plan to write a book,” Jackson explains. The young woman saw Jackson’s testimony not just as a personal triumph but as a form of ministry—a way to reach others trapped in similar situations who needed to know escape was possible and life after abuse could be beautiful.
One of the most crucial aspects of Jackson’s story—and her book—is the examination of how religious doctrine can be twisted by abusers to maintain control over their victims.
Jackson’s ex-husband used his position as a pastor and her role as first lady to enforce compliance. Biblical teachings about submission, forgiveness, and commitment were distorted to justify his behavior and convince Jackson that leaving would be a sin against God.
In “Awakening,” Jackson works to correct these misunderstandings, offering readers a healthier interpretation of scripture that doesn’t require them to sacrifice their safety and sanity in the name of faith. She wants others trapped by similar religious manipulation to know that God doesn’t require them to remain in abusive situations.
The response to “Awakening” has been powerful and emotional. Jackson reports that readers—both women and men—have reached out to share how deeply the book affected them. Many described crying while reading, feeling anger at what she endured, and ultimately finding inspiration and hope in her story.
Jackson’s evolution from victim to survivor to author to advocate demonstrates the transformative power of breaking the silence. Her willingness to share her story publicly, despite the vulnerability it requires, extends her ministry beyond any pulpit—reaching people in the dark places she once inhabited.
Beyond her writing, Jackson has built a full life. She has worked in various caregiving roles, including nine years in daycares, before transitioning into her career as an associate, that later became an Assistant Store Manager at Ross Dress for Less in downtown Chicago, for the past decade. She is a mother to six children from her first marriage.
“Once I stepped away, life just went up. It was amazing,” Jackson says, and that amazement is evident in her voice. She wants others to know that same amazement is possible for them.
“Awakening” is available now, and Jackson’s second book on narcissism and healing is forthcoming. But beyond the books themselves, Jackson offers something even more valuable: living proof that there is life after abuse, and it can be beautiful.
